MeMoi ?!

"It is not often one feels one can write with such authority on a subject. But after few hours in Greece and already a tummy full of figs; (adding up to more in kilograms than my overweight coming here.) I believe I know somewhat more than your average glutton. It all began with nonchalantly popping one into my mouth; welcomed by my teeth, the flesh succumbed to my crunch, then soothed by my tongue. Of course it’s only in hindsight I find myself empathising with this specimen but in reality this was the beginning of my addiction. Although I’ve always adored this fruit; it was not until I found my self surrounded by their trees that things swiftly got out of control. After attacking the foliage in the near vicinity it was clear I was going to have to venture further a field to search for my next figx! All it required was the brother, for the higher boughs. Not even a bag was necessary since I anticipated eating all our findings on sight. Bounding past our vacant branches, we left the gated garden. Suddenly out into the unknown, we found ourselves ravenous for ambrosia; urgent to find it around the next corner we stumbled recklessly down the hill. It was not long until we fell upon our first victim. Disappointingly its branches were not as generously laden as we’d hoped and our shoes stuck stubbornly to those that had once hung heavily between the generous leaves. But the few we found we devoured, one sweet explosion after another. Everything was heavenly until the brother, fulfilling his role as chief hunter-gatherer, abruptly suggested we should probably tear each fruit in half to check for any unwanted tenant. Innocence had never been more blissful, for each fruit to follow we fell victim to some sort of trespasser. Every opening resembling something out of a horror film. Lions roared, images of Jaws flashed before me. Maggots!"

-

Go Figure!

"What could be more exciting than supermarkets abroad you might wonder? Well, picture this. After a lunch of local delicacies and sips of the Islands finest rosé, six boozy Biebers glided around the quaint little town of Fiskardo. What follows, I’m sure, is simply the error of drinking in the surroundings of British boats. Their haze of alcohol contributing to our state of inebriation quite considerably. For we were in the highest spirits to find a shop, marginally resembling something from back home. Not that anyone even remembers anything pre holiday, but the sheer sight of imported goodies thrilled us all. The aisles awaited us. Splitting up, we covered more ground, searching for familiar and unfamiliar tastes to spend our Euros on. Interrupted mid mission – the father, who’d been led astray by a sign claiming ‘Fish Spa’, returned with plans to treat our feet. And so, on to the next adventure! Crossing the piazza to the place where we would spend the next half hour, we diligently counted our toes and waited eagerly to hand ourselves over to the hungry mouths below. Some Biebers more anxious than others, we deemed it only fair that we should sacrifice our bodies for these ravenous creatures. For this holiday alone we must have swallowed schools of their relatives. But first, with twelve feet between us, Thenia valiantly cleaned and scrubbed each one, not a cold foot left amongst us. The brothers bait already, gazed dreamily into her inky Grecian eyes; ecstatic for this aquatic encounter. One after the other, we lowered our limbs into the deep tanks. The little bodies fighting for a nibble of our skin. Passing tourists gawped, as if we were the fish in the tank. From tickles ensued fits of giggles as they worked their way between our toes. My only concern was that they should return my freckles to where they found them. Otherwise we were in a delightful disposition, perhaps a little too excitable since Thenia rapidly replaced Django Reinhardt for the soundtrack of Chocolat. It’s hypnotic hum, the perfect accompaniment to her sudden change in mood. Sashaying before us in her turquoise trousers she narrated the tale of her love of four years, with whom after experiencing a decline in their relationship, she took herself to see the movie as a pick me up and realized it was he she needed to drop. So drop him she did and now working in this sleepy town, she’d great plans for the end of the season. She was set on kissing the giant sculpted frog in the piazza outside, in true belief that he would turn into her prince!"

- Gone fishing!